im completely in love with him, i would not rather myself with anyone else ever, period.
hes everything i need to compliment me - he helps me out when i need him and puts everything aside for my best interest.
but a smoking addiction and his overcontrolling parents worry me.
i dont want to find myself win a relationship where he spends every cent on cigarettes, and he listent sto his mommy t age 30 (his parents REALYL dont like me and literally say theyre going to "make [our] life a living hell" every other week - then the cops show up at my place looking for problems that dont exist, and i get screwed over.
but ive put it all aside for years, because i love him.
and he promsies thngs will change, but i havent seen an improvement in his school work at college. he works 2 nights a week at papa ginos ... big deal, i know.
anyway, point is - should i trust him and just STOP worrying? i dont want to throw away the future i long for and have dreamed of for a year because im worrie dhe wont pull through and pass college and get a job.
because maybe he will.
but what if he doesnt, and then were married?
divorce isnt an option for me :\
and i want a family.Worried about near future - advice? ?
Just trust me when I say that you don't want to marry someone who is irresponsible (using school as an excuse to not work). He wants to marry you so that you'll support him and as for his family...you will have to deal with them for the rest of your life. I would definately suggest getting pre-marital counseling and making sure that these issues are worked out. It's good that you are thinking about these things NOW before you are married.Worried about near future - advice? ?
wait til he finishes college to marry him, you have plenty of time you've only been together a year
Run away. Don't look back and just keep running. This is a train wreck waiting to happen and you know it. Trust your gut. "I love him" isn't going to be enough to make this relationship work.Worried about near future - advice? ?
Sounds like you are in the middle of a drama family. Looks like you are going to stay in one for a very long time. If you don't want all that drama, get out. I know you say you are in love with him and it will crush you if you leave him, but what is important here. Life with drama or your sanity?
seeing that he is such a 'great guy' talk to him about how you feel and about your fears. you know marriage is on the table but you guys must resolve the issues before you tie the knot or jump the broom. if you ignore them and go ahead and get married you have no excuse or reason to complain.Worried about near future - advice? ?
Move far away from his family and have a great life. LOL
Since moving is probably not an option, remember you are marrying him not his family. However, you have to remember that you will have to deal with his family. If you love him you may have to learn to put up with his family, try to get along, sit down and talk it all out(if possible).
He should be willing to put you before his family.
It's nice that you love this guy. However, I would strongly encourage you to wait until he finished college and gets himself a regular job and is gainfully employed. Until he actually makes the changes he says he's going to, his talk is cheap.
And trust what his parents are telling you. They definitely WILL continue to make your life a living hell, which is pathetic. What in the world is your boyfriend (you said he's 30?!?!?!?!)) doing to set some strong boundaries with his parents? If he isn't doing that to protect your relationship, kick him to the curb. If divorce isn't an option for you, then be prepared to die early of multiple stress-related disorders. Good luck, my dear. You're gonna need it.
I think you are very wise. Chances are things will only get worse if you marry him. It is so hard to let go of someone when you really love someone. I know from my own experience that's the way it always ends up. Pray ask for guidance %26amp; you will get it. I've found that if I listen to my inner voice I won't go wrong, it's when I go again est it I pay for it.To Thy Own Self Be True. Peace be with you always.
if smoking is a deal breaker for you then you need to tell him so he has the chance to quit.
as to his parents--take it slow and see how he handles them. If he backs down to them then drop his butt as fast as you can and run in the opposite direction.
he's still in college, give him until he graduates to see if he grows up. If he doesn't then move on.
personally, just based on what you've posted about him and his family here, he doesn't sound all that enticing and I'd move on now. I'm not one for unnecessary drama and have no interest in inviting difficult people into my life.
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